No report is going to tell me how to raise my child

Remember the time that study was released and assured you that you were doing a great job as a parent?

Yeah, me neither.

As if we didn’t have enough to worry about, we’re now faced with yet another report that tells us our attempts at child-rearing are as impressive as a teenage girl naming a One Direction track with little to no assistance.

Now tell me, how do you support your child? Praise? Encouragement? Flattery? Stop right there. You’re doing it all wrong.

Unless you want to turn your child into a privileged, narcissistic little upstart with an inflated sense of self and an inability to look beyond their own prowess at ABC’s and 123’s, then you need to walk a very fine line with your compliments.

Panicked? Yeah, I was too.

If the report published in US journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Science is to be believed, I am in the process of turning Ella into Christian Bale’s character in American Psycho.

One compliment too many and she’ll be devoid of empathy and all too aware of her own ego, talent and desires.

How splendid.

But here’s the thing, after a moment’s consideration I realised I didn’t believe the report and my child is living proof that I shouldn’t.

I praise Ella on a daily basis and I’ve watched her grow in confidence, accept new challenges and encourage others as a result of mine and my partner’s desire to support our only child.

Regardless of what this study says, I have every right to tell my child she is special because, believe me, she is. Just like your child is. Just like every child is.

There are enough children in the world who have yet to hear a kind word, feel a reassuring nudge in the small of their back or bask in the praise of someone who loves them, so no report is going to tell me to silence my praise, stifle my cheers or dial back support of my child.

Tying ourselves in knots about children being told they’re special or worthy?

No, it’s the children who aren’t being told this that deserve our time and concern.