During the first few years of being a teenager, your child will find it hard to deal with changing relationships, and he or she will often disagree with siblings and parents. However, when a sibling becomes sick, it adds another dimension to the relationship your tween has with them.
Some tweens will feel worried, jealous, stressed or abandoned. However, these feelings are perfectly normal, they will not make your child a terrible brother or sister because we’re all human.
Here are some of the reactions most teens have to a sibling's illness:
- Worry that their sibling will die or become permanently disabled
- Fear of "catching" the sibling's disease
- Guilt about being healthy and able to enjoy activities that their sibling can’t
- Anger because parents are devoting most of their time and energy to their brother or sister
- Resentment when your brother or sister doesn't have to help out or do chores
- Wishing that things could be the way they were before the illness
- Feeling bad about being mean to the sibling in the past
- General anxiety about an uncertain future
Ways to help your tween cope:
- Keep them in the know. Explaining the facts about a sick sibling will help your tween avoid unnecessary fears and also help them get a handle of what’s going on. Some children will be worried about catching the disease, however most childhood illnesses like cancer, sickle cell disease, diabetes, epilepsy and kidney disease can’t not be passed on. If you are those concerned about carrying a genetic risk for an illness, could speak to their GP about it.
- Designate a "go-to" adult. If they are uncomfortable opening up to you about their feelings, tell them to find an adult to lean on for support (even though you will always be there). Everyone could do with having someone to go to and steam out any negative feelings.
- Socialise. Tell them to spend time with some friends so that they can try to get their minds off things. Just because they have a sick sibling, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve time to relax.
Lastly, tell that even if they’re sad, remember to smile and stay positive because every cloud has a silver lining.
