Children feel validated when their parents say sorry. It is also shows them a positive way of resolving conflict.
Here are some tips on how best to apologise to your child:
Apologise for your behaviour, not for yourself.
You might tell your child, ‘I’ve been thinking about what happened and I don’t like what I said or did.’
Give yourself a moment to gather your thoughts.
You could say, I’m sorry I’m not thinking clearly right now. Just give me a moment and I’ll speak to you.
Ask yourself, what I could have done differently.
Ask your child, “What should I have done?” Or “Have I made a mess of this?”
Remember that no parent is perfect.
Think about what provoked your response. Also think about all the good things that you do as a parent. It’s perfectly okay to make a mistake every so often! Talk to another mum and see what they think you should have done differently.
Think about how you could behave next time.
Take time to think about what you can do in the future and what you can do to change the way you react.
What are some tips for negotiating with children?
Every mum will be all too familiar with the phrase, ‘Just five more minutes’. It can be so frustrating when you are trying to get your child to get ready for bed or to sit down and do their homework. So, what do you when you are tired of saying no and sick of fighting. Give in? Lose it? Negotiate?
As you will have noticed by now, life with kids often involves negotiation, whether we like it or not. A positive way of looking at it is that the negotiation between parents and kids can actually be a great learning experience for your children. If we don’t negotiate, your children won’t learn how to deal with conflicts constructively. If you don’t teach them to make compromises and to work with others, they may never learn these skills. However, negotiating with kids is a challenging process. Parents have to know how to learn to manage their own emotions and frustrations.
