When one mum discovered that her friend was having sex with her husband whilst her two children were asleep in the same room, she was a bit disturbed.
Choosing to remain anonymous, she posted the story online, saying that she was particularly uncomfortable about her discovery because of the ages of the children in question - eight and ten.
In her post to a Netmums forum, she explained that the couple are currently sharing a bedroom with their children for a few months.
“They do have a living room so I can’t understand why they don’t have sex there before they go to bed,” the friend wrote.
The post continued: “My friend says it’s fine – they make sure the kids are asleep but I’m not certain that you can be sure or that they won’t wake up and lie there wondering what is happening.”
She explained that her friend thinks it’s “no different to the third world countries where families all share one room.”
“However I feel really uncomfortable since I found this out because of the age of the kids.”
"Part of me feels I should say something but I am a pretty chilled out person and never really get involved in judging what other people do so the other part of me thinks that it’s none of my business, and maybe something that is okay for some people.”
After her post, she asked what other mums thought.
Suffice to say, it sparked a bit of a debate amongst mothers online. In fact, she received a whopping nine pages of responses from other parents.
The consensus? Generally, mums felt it was okay to do this while the kids were young, but not with children aged eight and 10.
One mum was certain this was “totally wrong”, writing that “it’s bordering on child abuse and social services would not be pleased.”
“What if they wake up? Revolting and I wouldn't be able to not say anything. There's absolutely no need to do it in the same room so the fact they do is just disgusting.”
Others agreed that it wasn’t the right choice.
“I think its ok when you have young children to do that but older ones no way its not right,” commented one person.
“Both their kids are way too old,” another said. “If one of these kids was to go into school and mention something to a teacher, it would be awkward.”
One mum said the children are too old to not wake up and know what is going on.
“I just don't think that's right to be honest,” she said
But not everyone thought it was wrong.
“Would think the 10-year-old know they have sex anyway,” one mum wrote. “Most primary schools start education around that age.”
“As long as they’re being quiet, I don’t really see the problem. Kids could walk in on them in living room, just as easily as waking in the bedroom.”
However, the vast majority felt that the anonymous mum shouldn’t confront her friend. In fact, many felt it wasn’t her place to get involved with her friends’ sex life.
“It’s not right in my opinion, but it’s not really any of your business either,” said one.
“I don’t see what saying anything will achieve but an argument and potential falling out.”
Some parents went on to share their own approach to having sex without risking the kids catching them.
“We wait until they are asleep, have sex, then after sex I check on them and they are still asleep so I know they haven’t been woken,” wrote one.
Another said: “We stay under the covers, make very, very little noise, keep the light out and if they wake up, we stay perfectly still and pray to god they go back to sleep on their own.”
Others said that the key was pure silence, writing that she and her partner are “quiet just quiet like church mice!”
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