Lindsay Stauffer is a mum-of-two who is beyond realistic and sometimes overwhelmed by the demands parenthood.
But she's not the only one that is overwhelmed from time to time, however, she is probably one of few who will admit to these feelings.
Nonetheless, after years of struggling with infertility the mum never thought she would find herself at a point where she was screaming at her husband that she 'regrets having children'.
In an honest post on Her View From Home surrounding the events of the day she crumbled, the mum-of-two assures all mums they're doing a good job because she has taken on board the title of 'worst mum in the history of forever'.
Lindsay writes: "Because seriously, what kind of mum says she regrets her own children? Well, I’ll tell you. A tired mom."
"A mom who has been pulled in a million different directions and feels like she’s failing in every one of them. [...] A mom who knows she needs to take care of herself and make time for herself, but feels guilty asking for help."
Finally concluding: "A mom who is burnt out."
Because Lindsay didn't mean what she had said in the exact context she had stated; she was frustrated and tired, and exclaimed her thoughts in the heat of the moment.
"I instantly regretted saying them, not because I didn’t mean them, but because that’s not the kind of thing a good mum is supposed to say. No, a good mum keeps those kinds of things to herself. And then drives herself completely insane trying to act like she’s got it all together."
But because she too is a mum, Lindsay knows all too well how hard it can be for us mums to keep it together at times.
"I know you constantly question yourself and your decisions, that there are many times you feel like giving up and you lie in bed at night wondering if you are enough. And you know what? That’s okay."
"It’s okay to feel like you have no idea what you’re doing because none of us do. We’re all just taking it day by day and doing the best we can. And I’d like to know who set this standard of perfection we’re all trying to live up to anyway?"
"Seriously, can we just give ourselves a break sometimes?"
We're all striving for perfection in a world where every movement will be scrutinised, which makes us believe there is no such thing as perfection.
Us mums need to support each other and be there for one another; knowing it's okay to admit when we're struggling is just one step on that road, Lindsay knowing she would love to sit down with a mum who is battling with their toddler too.
"No judgement and no 'mom shaming'. Because, you know, I am the one who said I sometimes regret having kids."
"I think what I was somehow trying to convey to my husband was this: being a mom is hard."
"We can handle the small, little sacrifices we’re forced to make here and there, but sacrificing our needs, feelings, wants and dreams day after day? That’s the most challenging part of it all."
And afterall, Lindsay knows deep down it was never her kids she regretted, it was her inability to give up control. Going from controlling everything to nothing has been a tough journey.
And as mums, while we sometimes lead ourselves to believe were in total control of EVERYTHING, sometimes we need to allow our family ride out the storm alongside us.
But what we'll truly admire and never regret - is the look of love each time we pause for a moment and observe our little miracles.
"Here I am, a mama to two strong, healthy little boys, forgetting most days to see them as the miracles they truly are. But I have my days."
"Days when I sit back and look at them in amazement and I can’t believe they’re really mine. That I get to be the one to raise them, the one to laugh with them and the one to love them. And my perspective changes."
"Because kids may make life hard, but they also make it rewarding. When my son wraps his little arms around my neck and gives me kisses, it makes me forget the tantrum in the grocery store. And when he looks at me out of the blue and tells me he loves me, it makes all the challenges of the day seem a little less important," adds Mum.
And that's when Lindsay remembers something that we all need to think about when we're finding the tough days almost unbearable.
"The reward is what makes everything worth it. And the reward is something I won’t ever regret."
