Prominent Aussie mummy blogger Constance Hall has an important message about using the ‘R’’ word – throwing the term ‘retard’ around “like some kind of flippant insult” isn’t innocent and harmless; it’s devastating.
In her blog, Constance penned a heartfelt post about her friend Kat, whose son Parker has Down syndrome.
Kat was watching a post-tennis match media conference on television, when she heard prominent Australian player Bernard Tomic say, “Unfortunately I had to stand on the court like a retard”.
An offhanded comment by the player, no doubt said unthinkingly and not meant to wound, but wound it did.
According to Constance Kat was mad, very mad.
“Because as Kat said to me, Bernard wasn’t saying ‘f**k wit’ he wasn’t saying ‘dick head’. He was saying that the biggest loser you can be is a retard.”
And that’s the crux of it. The word retard is often bandied about as a derogatory term for someone who messes up, or to describe ‘stupid’ behaviour. And often the person that uses it doesn’t see the connection between the word, and its real origins.
But for people with disabilities, and their families, like Kat and her son, this ignorance is unacceptable, it’s hurtful, it’s damaging.
“So Kat did what fierce, lioness, warrior bi****s do and she started a petition, asking for an apology,” wrote Constance. “Not trying to get the guy fired or ruin anyone’s careers. She wanted it to be known that this isn’t OK, because do you know what? It isn’t OK. It just isn’t.”
Warrior mum Kat got her apology, and now Constance says we need to go one step further and push for a policy change where discriminatory terms like retard are outlawed.
“Can you imagine the hurt you would feel?” wrote Constance. “If that was your happy, unassuming little boy? Forced to live in a world that doesn’t stick up for him? We want a policy change.
“Kat is hoping that people in the spotlight, playground, sports field and well people everywhere learn that the ‘R’ word, may seem like s**ts and giggles, it may seem a bit of fun. But for a hell of a lot of families out there… it’s poison, plain and simple.”
You can read Constance's powerful piece in its entirety here.
Have you had any experiences where the ‘R’ word was used? How did you feel? We’d love to hear your experiences mums.
