Being a mum of two, Laura Mazza knows all too well the joys and frustrations that come with motherhood.
The unconditional love that each of your children gives you… goes hand in hand with the lack of you time that comes with having kids.
Sometimes it’s easy to just say goodbye to 'you' for a bit while other times it can be really, really frustrating.
Something Laura had first-hand experience of recently.
The mum was tucking her children into bed one evening, dreaming of a free night to do whatever she liked.
But as soon as she sat down to enjoy the next few hours she heard a cry.
Her son was looking for her.
So being the good mum that she is, Laura went into her son’s room, checked his forehead, fixed his blanket, turned on his “special night light” and said goodnight.
Laura did all this in a hurried manner, admitting that she’s not even sure if she made eye contact with him.
But just as she went to leave he asked for a hug.
So she gave him a hug.
But he asked for more, and that’s when Laura’s frustration started to rise.
“I felt my anxiety surge. Really I did. And the anxiety danced with frustration... Why can't I just have me time today?” she wrote on Facebook.
“Why can't I just have that little break where I'm allowed to be touched out.
"Where I just want to binge eat chocolate and watch how I met your mother? Why can't I have it?
“The more I let my mind race of why I needed to leave the more he wanted me to be there... and that's always the way.
“Every time you need to get away, when you need to move, when you need to do a million things or you need to do nothing, they need you.”
Admitting that she is the type of person who is always doing something, Laura admitted to struggling with the idea that when her son needs her she must stop doing whatever it is she is doing.
“I'm active, I can't sit still, I always have to be on the move or my mind has to be on something, I write while watching movies and have an open book in the other.
"I'm on demand but here comes a toddler calling out mummy and all of a sudden everything has to stop because he needs me.”
But on this particular night, Laura climbed into his bed and “for the first time in a long time [she] stopped thinking".
“I felt all my stresses from the day and all my worries just float into the air out of my body while I held him. The desire to rush and tend to the washing or watch Ted Mosby drained from my body.
“The anxiety went away.
“His breathing slowed down and became deeper and deeper and eventually he fell asleep... but I held him anyway.”
And Laura said her son needing her was exactly what she needed, and not time to relax in front of the TV or put the washing on.
“Tonight in that dark room, the best thing that little toddler did for me was need me, because it made me realise that on the worst days, I need him more.”
We all have days when we get frustrated by the lack of alone time we can get but nothing, and we mean nothing, beats cuddling with your baby as they gently fall sleep.
