When Rebecca Joseloff was planning her second birth, she was certain of two things.
The first, was that she wanted to give birth at home, and that she wanted her 3-year-old, Hunter, involved.
Speaking to Cafemom, Rebecca said that those closest to her, including her husband, were sceptical at letting the toddler be present at the birth.
But Rebecca held her ground:
"Kids perceive things in the way adults react to it, so if birth is not made out to be scary or traumatic or what not, kids are not going to think that it is.
Birth is such a natural part of life and such an awesome moment, especially for a brother or sister to be there when their sibling is born; it really makes such an awesome connection for them for the rest of their lives."
Rebecca worked to prepare Hunter for the birth ahead of time. According to Nicole Katz-Lahey of Ready, Set, Chaos Birth Services, Hunter was well versed in what was about to happen:
Posting to Love What Matters, she said:
"Often, clients ask me my thoughts on having children present, at a birth. My answer is usually, 'Yes'. Hunter's parents prepared her so well for this experience. They discussed anatomy in proper terms. She knew the word 'placenta', and she wasn't afraid of the blood she saw. She didn't cower when her mother roared her brother out and she didn't get nervous or concerned about it, at all."
Apparently, little Hunter took the whole experience in her stride:
"She asked questions, she played with her babies, she ate snacks, and she kept us all entertained with her adorableness. She held her brother's head as he crowned, she cheered her mom on as she pushed him out, she rubbed her mother's hair so gently; as they both gazed lovingly at this new tiny life in front of them."
Then Katz-Lahey suggested that Hunter jump in for the skin to skin contact, explaining to Hunter why she was doing it:
"I said, 'Hunter, do you want to take your shirt off and hold your brother?' Without hesitation, she began to take her shirt off, but she did ask me, "Why am I taking my shirt off?'' I replied, 'Brand new babies love the feeling of your skin, and you will love it, too.'"
As for those that are unsure about having older siblings present for births, Katz-Leahy explains:
"Every child is different and every parent-child relationship is different. It isn't the actual moment of birth that mothers are worried about their older children witnessing, it's more that they want to ensure their children's needs are being met.
If parents really want to have their other children present at the birth, the best thing to do is prepare them with videos, talk about every aspect of birth, and speak about birth in a positive way."
What do you think? Could you have an older sibling present during labour?
