Talk about a family affair!
Steph and her husband Andy from New Zealand really wanted their three kids, Heidi (7), Eden (5) and Isaac (2), to be involved in the birth of their baby sister, Hazel. In their view, birth is completely natural, so there's no reason it should be shrouded in mystery.
And incredibly, Steph was super-calm in the run-up to giving birth. Despite her discomfort, she sets out activities for her kids to enjoy while she was in labour: paper, glue, scissors etc.
“I had put some thought into how they would cope during labour and birth, and we talked about it loads,” she told BabyCentre.
“We made a chart together and drew some pictures. If they were bored, they could go to it for ideas. Ideas like…massage mum’s back, offer me drinks of water, make a lemon drink for me, cold flannel on my head, to sit with me, tell me that I am strong, that they love me and our baby will be here soon.”
And dad Andy wasn’t missing in action either. He set to work filling the birthing tub, and picking up Heidi and Eden from school.
Unfortunately, the couple lacked the support required to have baby Isaac at the birth, so he stayed at preschool until baby Hazel had arrived. Their midwife was running late too, which threw a bit of a spanner in the works.
Other than that, however, it all went swimmingly.
“The girls knew from my body language and movement that birth was getting closer. They gave us some space, while still being near.”
Of course, the kids weren’t totally unfazed all the time.
“There was a point when my subconscious agreed with the physical to give the baby a wee push to help it through,” she said. “I understand at this point the girls were hiding under pillows!"
"My oldest daughter Heidi left the room for a moment. My husband called her back in, as he knew baby was only moments away.”
Before long, baby Hazel had arrived – just in time for Heidi’s return (and the midwife’s!)
“She came in just as the baby was visible in the water,” she said. “We checked the baby over to ascertain she was healthy, then sat back in the pool buzzing about what just happened. Maybe 10 minutes later, our midwife arrived with a wicked smile on her face!”
While Steph and Hazel enjoyed skin-to-skin contact in the pool, the girls came in and out checking on them, and started bonding with their new sibling.
Hazel’s umbilical cord was cut after about three hours. Then Steph’s son arrived home, and she admits the scene must have been a bit overwhelming.
“Things had changed in a few short hours,” she said.
“Mum was in bed holding a baby, the birth pool was set up, extra people around. It was a lot to take in. However he picked up the sense of occasion from his sisters – who were fully adjusted to the events of the morning."
"He can now look through loads of photos and perhaps piece together our journey.”
Steph believes that because her children witnessed the power of birth, they understood more readily that it would take time for the family’s normal activities to resume.
She says her children reacted with maturity about the changing family dynamic. And yes, the new mom-of-four would recommend siblings being in a healthy and normal birthing space; it may take a lot of planning, but the rewards are many.
“Kids can cope with the graphic experience of normal birth, given the right support,” she said. “They have ways to switch off if something is too much for them.”
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