Feeling a little frustrated at your teenager for not listening to you or doing what they're told? Well, have you ever considered that it could in fact be the way you parent rather than your son or daughter's attitude. It is easy to get stuck in a bit of parenting rut and have a number of bad habits slip in along the way without you even noticing. Being the mum of a teenager is difficult enough and bad habits just make it a lot more difficult.
Look out for the most common parenting habits and try to break them:
You are not consistent
There is no point setting your child limits or curfews if you are not going to be consistent in implementing them. It is easy to say you have to be home at nine every weekday but it is so much harder to actually implement it. If you are always allowing five minutes here and there, your teen will struggle to respect you and your parenting.
You do everything for them
Sometimes it is easier to do the job ourselves, but how is your teen ever going to learn to be independent if you are always picking up after them or driving them wherever they want to go? While it is ok every once in a while, it is important you allow your adolescent gain a sense of independence by showing them how to use the washing machine rather than doing it for them.
You act now, listen later
You don’t listen your to teenager and when something goes wrong you immediately jump to conclusions and punishments before giving them a chance to speak up. While you expect your son or daughter to listen to you, you work on an act now, listen later basis. This can be detrimental to your relationship as they will gradually stop trying to confide or trust in you.
You ask questions rather than be specific
Have you ever heard yourself say ‘can you put your shoes away?’ or ‘can you tidy your room?' Asking your teen a question rather than giving a specific instruction often means the task goes undone – sure, if they don’t have to do it why would they? When getting your children to do something you need to tell them rather than ask them - 'pick up your shoes, please' or 'please tidy your room'.