Motherhood is for the strong!
A big part of our lives as mums is spent trying to find new and exciting ways to keep our children entertained. Seriously, it’s a little spoken of skill they don’t tell you about when you’re expecting, but it’s no exaggeration that approximately 73% of our day is spent trying to keep our kiddos busy.
So we’re counting down the years and months and weeks until it’s acceptable to bring them to the cinema (two hours of quiet time, bliss!)
However, while sometimes we pull it off and they only ask to go to the toilet like five times, other times it’s more trouble than it’s worth!
Here are the five things that happen on every cinema trip:
1. “I’ve to go to the TOILET!”
This is number one on the list because it’s the biggest repeat offender. We’ve only sat down to watch the trailers and all of a sudden it’s toilet time. And our suspicions that they want to go for a stroll more than anything else are often validated when we see them huffing and puffing on the toilet with nothing coming out. “But I promise I had to go a little while ago!” Sure, sure, whatever, your mother is a broken woman, let’s go.
2. The fight over jellies / crisps / popcorn
“She got more fizzy strawberries than me!” and “Mum he ate all his sweets so now he’s trying to eat MINE!” are common arguments we have to referee. Which is why we comfort eat family size bags of Minstrels to cope with the stress of it all.
3. Vainly begging them to shush
We understand that no one wants noise and distraction when they’re trying to watch a movie – heck, it drives us mad too. But often kids interpret “Shush!” as “Talk louder kids, they can’t hear you at the back”. So often when we feel the annoyed glares of other patrons boring into our backs we often just want to flee.
4. The relief that other kids are behaving worse than ours
It’s not big and it’s not clever, but we’re not too proud to admit that when we see a clutch of kids acting up more than our own gang, we’re a tad relieved. Phew, we think, our lot is annoying, but thankfully that crowd over there is making them look good.
5. We get REALLY into the film
We’re watching a kiddie film dispassionately at first, when all of a sudden we find ourselves engrossed. Not a good move when your toddler has to “go do a pooey”. But how are supposed to know what happens to Princess Penelope Pumperdink if we’re in the bog helping you wipe your bum? NOOOO!
6. We’re THAT family that has to leave
Generally there’s always one family that doesn’t make it until the credits. Sometimes it’s us, sometimes it isn’t. But if it is you, then you’re slinking out in mortification, and if it’s isn’t you, you’re sitting there smugly, conveniently forgetting when you watched Kung-Fu Panda you lasted 15 minutes before giving up and hustling them out the door.
Can you relate mums? What happen on every cinema trip you take the kids on? We’d love to hear from you!
