Toddlers definitely suffer from a case of selective hearing; whatever you say, they’ll always hear something different. Always. In fact, it happens so often that we are often left questioning our own language skills.


Here are ten things you say to your toddler and what they actually hear:


What you say: Put on your shoes

What they hear: Go play some more, we’ve plenty of time to get out of the house...


What you say: Don’t put your plate on your head

What they hear: Put your plate on your head and rub your mashed potato into your freshly washed hair. And do it well enough that mummy will have to spend the next twenty minutes trying to get it out.


What you say: Let’s get your pyjamas on

What they hear: Let’s play hide and seek while mummy chases you around in circles.


What you say: Don’t play with mummy's phone

What they hear: Put your sticky fingers all over the screen before flinging it to the other side of the room. 


What you say: Do you need to go to the toilet?

What they hear: Tell me when you need to go to the toilet after you have gone in the middle of the supermarket.


What you say: Don’t wipe your nose on your sleeve  

What they hear: Don’t wipe your nose on your sleeve, wipe it in my hair instead.


What you say: Don’t climb up there

What they hear: Climb up there when I’m not looking, and then jump.


What you say: Share your sweets with mummy

What they hear: Stuff your sweets in your pocket and refuse to give them to mummy, no matter how nicely she asks.


What you say: Mummy needs to have a sit down

What they hear: Now is the perfect time to become hungry, have a tantrum or want to play with me.


What you say: We need to be quiet in the library

What they hear: Scream really loudly from the moment we step into the building until we leave. 




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