A bossy four year old is experimenting with her power and the affect that her words have over a situation. She realizes that the way she treats others can change the outcome. In other words, she has learned how to manipulate.
Dealing with such behavior can be difficult, but must be done. If you let the behavior continue, you may find your child will have problems making friends in school.
In some cases, a child is being bossy to other children because they cannot make decisions for themselves at home. Playtime is the only time that they can control. If your child seems to only be bossy to other children, perhaps you should offer her more choices during the course of her day. Instead of telling her to pick up her toys, ask her if she would rather pick up her toys now or in five minutes. Allowing her to make decisions helps her to feel in control.
