You asked

Is it normal that my toilet trained child refuses to do a poo in the toilet?

Yes. While it may be frustrating for you as a parent, it’s quite normal for a child who is potty trained to suddenly refuse to make a poo in the toilet. It’s probably got nothing to do with you, or your potty training skills. In fact, while some children have no trouble using the toilet, there are some who even experts agree simply won’t, without any good reason!

Analysing where your potty training went wrong is not the answer here. Neither is force. The best way to deal with this situation is to use a gradual, step by step approach.

The first step is to stop your child from pooping in his or her underpants. That means training your child to go to the bathroom, and change into training pants when he or she feels a poo coming. If your child doesn’t, and you ‘catch them in the act’ take your child into the bathroom immediately. That way, your child becomes accustomed to that being the place where he or she poops.

Once you’ve managed to accomplish this, it’s time for the next step: letting your child poop in training pants, while sitting on the toilet. From there, it’s a short leap to realising that pooping in the toilet is the right idea, and your child should work it out by him or her self.

Patience, and reassuring your child that you believe that he or she will achieve what you want him or her to is key. You also want to rule out constipation, which can make having a bowel movement painful or uncomfortable, and is a major cause of children not wanting to use the toilet.

More questions

Even three year olds who are mostly potty trained still have the occasional night time accident.
When a child had diarrhoea, sugary drinks can aggravate the problem. It is better to provide your child a drink that replaces electrolytes.
It is not bribery to offer your child a few rewards for successfully using the potty. In fact, it is a great way to motivate your child to stay focused on potty training.
Potty training is quite a procedure! Whether it’s your first or your fifth time potty training a child, these tips can help.
If you want to know what you should be avoiding when potty training, then read on!
There are a few things you can buy to make potty training your preschooler a little easier on everyone.
When to start potty training is completely dependent on when your toddler feels ready
If you think your child is ready for potty training, then there are three basic steps you need to take to be sure it’s as simple as possible.
There are, believe it or not, several books on the subject of potty training in a few days – rather than weeks or months.
It’s normal for parents to feel that they’ve failed when their child won’t poo in the toilet – rest assured however that you have not. It’ll just take a little more time and practice.

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