Why the contents of my diary BAFFLE my other half

As a busy and incredibly forgetful mum-of-two I am notorious for scrawling hurried reminders on my hand – something which never fails to irritate my mother.

A firm believer in the importance of good stationary, she decided to invest in a stunning moleskin notebook which she presented to me on Mother's Day this year.

Immediately enthused, I vowed to make clear and coherent notes while keeping track of errands, important events and general family reminders.

Less than a month on, my husband came upon my notebook and struggled to make head nor tail of the vast majority of its contents.

I realised that the half-written notes and garbled thoughts which made perfect sense to me looked like Double-Dutch to anyone else.

Here are just ten examples.

1. “Cost of a leg? Need to impress M.I.L”

A leg of lamb for Easter dinner was high on my priority list last week, obvs.



2. “Buy razers. Use razers before the summer.”

He had no idea I even knew razers existed. That showed him.



3. “Sex? Ask Ms. Wright what is involved.”

My daughter's school is holding a sex education workshop at the end of term.



4. “Holiday. Find deposit.”

Husband thought deposit had been sourced and paid. Husband has been lied to.



5. “Bounce House??!”

Wondering why this word isn't used more regularly than Bouncing Castle.



6. “Next time I'll be braver, I'll be my own saviour”

Adele lyrics, whatever.



7. “C&C for front room”

Apparently we don't NEED carpet and curtains, though.



8. “Trans op. March 18^th.”

Less Caityn Jenner, and more an opportunity to trasnfer money to savings on the 18^t.



9. “Where does twerking come from?”

Well, where DOES it come from?



10. Jellies. H.U.S

'Hidden under sink', innit.